Drinks-a-Go-Go for those on the...Go-Go...(who like the Go-Go's)

Hey vegan-enthusiasts, wannabees and experts,

My parents bought me a juicer last Xmas - and while I was thrilled at the time, I am ashamed to say I have not fully utilized this contraption to my best advantage.
It's sat in a closet under my staircase for nearly 9 months, much like Karmen's ill-fated blender I recently gave lament to on her Magic Bullet Blog.

Now, if you're like me (a grizzled, sometimes-bitter late-twenty something/early thirty-something who wants desperately to fit into a niche and you think you MIGHT have finally discovered it with a half-ass attempt at veganism) - you're probably looking for convenient, quick, delicious and nutritious ways to:

A) Eat more compassionately.
B) Eat more health-il-y.

I know. There's no such word.

Regardless, I have come up with a few juice recipes guaranteed to give you a kick in the good ole compassionate ARSE - and ensure that you get your proper intake of FRESH veggies!!!

Personally, I'm a woman (man) on the go - career-girl(boy) oriented - dedicated to my job and committed to putting in long and grueling hours for "THE MAN" (woman).

I discovered a way to use my juicer to HELP me become vegan, lose weight AND get my proper daily intake of vitamins and vegetables.


First recipe:
(I call it:)
"THE BEETNIK BREEZER"
(the ONLY drink dedicated to wannabe-vegan spoken word performance artists and the people who love 'em!)
This slut-of-a-drink is easy-like-sunday morning to make:
1 cup chopped, peeled beets
2 cups strawberries (hulled of course, but if you're a fucking purist hippy who doesn't want to hurt the straweberries' feelings - like me - you can leave the hulls on)
1 small fuji apple (or granny smith - or fuck ANY kind of fucking apple) - not peeled - leave the skin on (just take the core out)
1 table spoon of freshly squeezed lime juice (of course, you don't NEED this - but being the seasoned borderline alcoholic that I am - I ALWAYS have fresh lime on hand)

Instructions:
Throw that shit in the juicer and then just juice the FUCK out of it - drop it in a glass and gulp that good stuff back!
WOO HOO!!!
Tastey - and you got all your minnies and vities :)

NEXT!!!!!

I call this next studpuppy of a beverage:
THE COOL-ASS CUKE-COCK-SHUN
(The ONLY drink dedicated to people who love nothing more than a big fat cucumber on a sweaty summer day......)

You need:
2 or 3 English cucumbers, peeled and chopped
8 fresh mint leaves (trust me folks - they aren't as hard to find as I thought - check your local Market)
1 bottle of water (!!!)
3 limes
2 table spoons of maple sugar
2 cups of crushed ice

Alright - nice and easy - and this hoity toity piece of liquid-vegan-yum-yum will have you impressing your snotty neighbors AND have the lawyer who lives down the street SALIVATING with envy. Put 'em to shame, FUCKERS!!
Combine the chopped cucumbers, mint, water and the JUICE of the three limes in a high speed blender and process until smooth.
Strain through a somewhat fine mesh sieve or filter of some kind into a pitcher.
Add in the maple sugar, and ice and stir it up to mix.
Then - for an EXTRA-CUKE-TASTIC effect, pour into chilled glasses and garnish with FOUR thinly sliced cucumber slices. Also - should the need grab you - you CAN use some freshly ground sea-salt as well (which Life Partner recently bought).
Whoa-la!!!
The PERFECTLY vegan and HEALTHY cocktail for ANY Saturday afternoon....

FYI - if you wanna REALLY get the party going - throw a little Honey-dew melon liqueur in there and see what happens (wink wink)

Night,
Dan.