Portobello XXXtravaganza!!!!!!

Today, I took it to a whole new level!
I "kicked it up a notch".
I went a-grocery shoppin' for goodies - stocked up on some fresh veggies and milk, munchies and even a wee little jingle ball for Pluto so she would stay happy....and...
some portobello mushrooms.

Okay - I never cooked these things to save my life. Ever - so I was completely ready to write them off as "not practical" or "over my head".

I was wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen - I would like to introduce my latest 100% Vegan creation:

The Porto-Burger-Bello-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong
*ideally, these should probably be barbecued over an open flame...I decided to pan fry (I know not as good) because it kept looking like it was about to rain...

Here's what you need for two:
- 2 Whole wheat hamburger buns
- two portobello mushrooms
- 1 clove of garlic
- oregano
- garlic salt
- freshly ground salt/pepper
- a few leaves of lettuce
- 1 purple onion
- 1 table spoon Verve brand non-dairy margerine
- 2 table spoon (per burger) Nasoya Nayonaise (non dairy/non-egg)
- 1 table spoon (per burger) Yoso Spreadables: Jalapeno lactose free soy sandwich spread
- Vegetable oil for cooking

Instructions:
*Please keep in mind - this was ALL guess work on my part.
Remove stems from Portobello shrooms.
Leave the shroom "gills" on.
Dice up 1 clove of garlic until it is cubed - not TOO fine..but - each little section should be cut into approx. 3 pieces....chunky, but diced.
Splash 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil on frying pan.
Drop 1 table spoon Verve margerine on frying pan.
Put on low heat, let everything sizzle up..
Throw on diced garlic...
let it fry for a bit - on VERY low heat...just kind of...bubbling nd sizzling SLOWLY in the oils...it shouldn't be hissing and splattering - if it is - you have the heat on too high.
When it looks like the flavour from the diced garlic is really merged in with the oil and melted soy margerine - toss on some oregano and garlic salt and give the pan a little shake..almost like you are making an oily-garlic flavoured sauce. When this is hot enough this is what will cook the mushrooms.
When it looks like a nice juicy sauce (not too juicey, just like...enough so it kind of runs when you tip the pan) - drop the Shrooms on the pan - top DOWN.
this is very important.
The top of the shroom (the part that would face the sky when growing from its stem) MUST be the side that is ON the hot pan - gills facing upward.
This saves all the juice from immediately running out through the gills (i did some research).
You can turn the heat up a little bit now - to get it sizzlin...
The garlic pieces should be getting moist and juicey and plump..turning a beautiful yellow colour...
Let the shrooms fry for like, 5 - 8 minutes - check to make sure they are not sticking...give the pan a shake here and there to get the juices flowing.
Then - for the last minute - flip them over onto their gills - and let them fry for about 1 to 2 minutes, just to finish them off.
They will have gottten much blacker - but not burned...they should still be very juicey.
Kill the heat.
On yer handburger buns - spread the Nayonaise on one half and the Soyo spreadable on the other....slap some lettuce and ringed onion - and toss your JUICEY, garlic-fried portobello shroom on the bun - and ...you have yourself one of the TASTIEST and COMPLETELY vegan treats know to mankind.
The only other place I have ever had a portobello burger is at the Brick House - and while they are good...they have NOTHING on the Porot-Burger-Bellow-Rama-Lama -Ding-Dong.
For real.
It is a thing of beauty.
And - it was quick and easy, and impressive.
Seriously - if you are ever having guests over and aren't sure what to make them - this meal is SOOO good - they won't even realize it's PURE vegan.

It's some gourmet shit.
I had a nice Soy yogourt for dessert which was semi-okay...not the greatest, but - you can't win 'em all.
For breakfast this morning I had a sliced nectarine and some freshly juiced beets/carrots/fuji apples - with some lime and a clementine orange thrown in for some sour yum yum.

A five star day, vegan wise!

laters,

Dan
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